Marsha Canham's Blog

January 8, 2013

Piers Morgan and other pithy thoughts

Filed under: Caesars Through the Fence — marshacanham @ 3:06 pm

Whilst the Card Cult was having a rousing game of Hand and Foot last night, we paused in our laughter to catch a few minutes of the Piers Morgan show. Most of us could only take a few minutes of watching the raving, foaming idiot who was the guest last night and whose name was so forgettable I don’t even feel like looking it up. But he was the bozo who has started the petition to have Piers deported for his stance against gun-toting idiots like the frothing fool who was there to represent and defend the 2nd Amendment last night. He did not answer one single question Piers asked…when he was able to squeeze in a question over the rantings of the Fool. Said Fool chose instead to shake his fist and point his finger and literally scream at Piers all the reasons why idiots like him have the right to carry automatic weapons. Gave all of us a warm, tingly feeling listening to him.

To his immense credit Piers Morgan remained calm. Totally calm. Amazingly calm. I’ve seen him go ballistic on the X Files for far less aggravation than the Fool was handing out last night, and frankly I was never a fan of his. I could, having become a rabid fan of Downton Abbey, see him as Lord of a Manor…cool, distant, arrogant, holding himself head and shoulders above the downstairs staff. However…last night he gained huge points in my opinion of him. Frankly, if I had been the host, I would have broken the Fool’s finger first time he shoved it in my face. I would have returned from a commercial break, hair askew, jacket torn, buttons missing, fists bruised, offering sweet apologies as to why the Fool suddenly had to leave the show. Any faint sounds of an ambulance in the background would have been blocked out by the cheers of the audience.

So what point was Piers Morgan trying to make? His stance is simple: why on earth does Mr. Jones next door need an automatic weapon like the one that did so much horrendous damage at Sandy Hook? It wasn’t a handgun, which could be justified as being needed for self defense, although handguns in the wrong hands can do just as much damage, albeit at a slower rate. It was an automatic rifle bought by the shooter’s MOTHER. Why? And she had three or four other guns in the house that her psycho son had free access to.  Why?

I had to go to the emerge dept in the local hospital the other night, and before I could get past the door, I had to go through a metal detector and have my purse searched by one of three armed guards. He was very polite and efficient, but really? Three armed guards in an emergency department? And now the NRA is wanting to put armed guards in every school down here? What message is that sending to the youth of this nation? To the world in general? Did I feel any safer lying in the exam room? Actually no. While I was waiting for my blood pressure to go down to a reasonable level, I kept wondering what would happen if there were actual gunshots out in the lobby. Was there any place to hide? Anywhere to run?

I’m not normally a paranoid person. But when I see fools like the frothing idiot who was on TV last night, and when I think:  he was the one representing the other gun-toting fools…over a hundred thousand of them!!!!!!…who signed the petition to have Piers deported…I *don’t* get a warm fuzzy feeling about where this fine country is headed. Granted, I’m Canadian, and while we have our share of gun-related problems, we certainly don’t have THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION weapons floating around out there amongst the citizens. And those are only the ones that are REGISTERED!!!!!

I recall a few years back, maybe 10 or so, when Stupid and I were down for our annual vacation in St. Petes Beach, there had been some sort of local state election and someone had not been on the ball when wording one of the propositions attached to the ballot. In essence it said anyone could carry a weapon anywhere, any time, as long as it was not concealed. Within a day of a few scathing editorials, there were tables set up in front of the local K-Mart manned by staff who were checking  handguns from shoppers before they went into the store.  Shop, exit, hand over your ticket and get your gun back.  Yeah, that gave us all a warm, tingly feeling too.

My personal opinion? No one needs to have an automatic weapon, be it a handgun or a rifle, for “personal protection”.  I grew up around guns, my dad was a cop for 35 years and had a collection locked safely away in cabinet in the basement. He taught me to shoot when I was young but the noise and the recoil scared me so much I never had more than one or two lessons. The scariest sight I EVER saw was my mother, after the Chief had passed away, walking down to her vegetable garden with a 45 in her apron pocket. She had never fired a gun in her life and would undoubtedly shoot off her own foot had she attempted it. I imagine most of the gun-toting Fools who scream about 2nd Amendment rights have spent many a Saturday afternoon at the gun ranges taking pot shots at beer bottles and empty tuna cans. But what about the other 300 million who haven’t? What about the kids who find a gun in the front closet and pull the trigger and end up shooting their brother or sister? Or the housewife who gets pissed off at a neighbour and fires an Uzi at her?  That would, of course, support the argument that it isn’t the gun that kills people, it’s the people firing them…but if the people didn’t have the guns in first place, they would have nothing to fire except spitballs!!!! Duh!!!!!!

Okay, rant over. On to pleasanter pithy perusings.

This was the first Christmas I spent away from my home and family. I managed to escape the cold and the snow without having to once put on a heavy winter jacket. Woo hoo for me! Arrived in sunny Florida to sunshine and 80 degree weather and instantly went to the local WallyMart to get decorations for the house. I’ve never had to light up a palm tree, but the grin was ear to ear as I did so. I brought a few things from home, including a small fake tree, which also went up the second day I was here. Put out all the Christmas dishes and hung the decorations and even won first prize on the street for my efforts! My son and DIL were worried a little about me being all alone Christmas, but as the day approached, I was too busy going house to house for happy hours to worry about it myself *g*.  Christmas Eve had a marvellous dinner at one neighbour’s house, Christmas Day had the turkey and all the fixings at another neighbour’s house. Great food, great company, and the next day…which is our Boxing Day and the day I usually have all of our friends and family over for the Big Dinner….my son and his family flew in for a 10 day stay. Would have been totally perfect if my knee hadn’t blown up Christmas Eve, severely limiting my mobility. I had wanted to go to Disney with the family, and I had wanted to take them to Discovery Cove, but I wouldn’t have lasted an hour at either place, so that goes on the agenda for next year.

NOT that I would have lasted at Disney much longer even if I wasn’t limping and hobbling around like Grammy Gump. The kids went mid-week just after Christmas and according to Jefferson, who has been to Disney a bazillion times, he’d never seen crowds like that before. Christmas Day, he was told, the Magic Kingdom had reached it’s capacity by 9am. Lines for the rides were 90 min long. The traffic for miles around the park was stopped. Not even stop and go. Just stopped.  We waited over an hour one night to get a table at Chilis, for heaven sakes.

Fast forward a week and the streets are empty. The holiday frenzy has faded completely away and stores and restaurants are back to normal. The next mad rush will be at March break, but by then we’ll all be swanned out by the pool and won’t care. LOL.

Speaking of pools, the one here in the park is solar heated and very large, so that a cloudy day and a cool evening can affect the water temps by a few degrees either way. Payton was determined to go swimming, however, and even though the whole family had their suits on and took towels with them to sprawl out in the sun, she was the only one to hurl herself off the side of the pool and jump into 69 degree water.  Bravo!

The chaos of their visit was wonderful and I miss them already. I would lay in bed in the mornings and listen to the two munchkins coming awake and was reminded of my own youth when my sister and I shared a bed. “You touched me!”  “I did not, YOU touched me!” “Your foot was on my side of the bed!” “You took all the blankets!” “You took both of the best pillows!” “You’re on MY side…MOMMMMMMM!”  “Stop pushing me!” “Stop laughing at me, it isn’t funny!” “Ewww you farted!”

Yep, I just lay there and grinned, listening.

As for my knee, the swelling…which was impressive…has gone down enough that I can almost walk without limping. What did I do to it? Nothing. Nothing at all. I went shopping in the morning for groceries, came home and fussed around in the kitchen for a bit making the egg nog for Christmas Eve dinner, and by 4 o’clock it was up like grapefruit. I called one of the neighbours to drive me the block and a half for dinner because I didn’t think I could walk it. By 9pm I couldn’t bend it and it looked like a football. I couldn’t bend it enough to even get back into the car, despite all efforts of the three gentlemen attempting to heave me inside. We tried the front seat first but the leg wouldn’t make it off the pavement. Someone had the clever idea of lying down across the back seat, which I tried, but without any leverage, I couldn’t slide across enough to get all 5′ 9″ of me into the car. Someone else had the bright idea of riding in the trunk with the hatch up. Tried that. No go. Again, couldn’t get leg up without excruciating pain. Verdict? Walk home with the aide of a cane on one side and a helper on the other. Again, a week or so later and I can laugh about it. Took me about fifteen minutes to hobble home that night, aided by a friend who had had both his knees replaced so he knew the pain of what I was going through. Once home I was force- fed pain pills by another neighbour who came back an hour later to check on me…he even made me lift my tongue to make sure I had swallowed both pills. So…I’m guessing my knee will be bionic before too long. I’d been hoping to delay the inevitable for a few more years, but the grinding and crunching with each step is telling me different. Blah.

And now for the part of the blog you’ve all been waiting for: an update on the progress of Kitchen Guy and Bathroom Guy!

I don’t have any.

Jefferson checked the house before they came down and nothing else had been done. Gentle queries via email have gone unanswered. Electrician Guy will be heading south, hopefully, by the end of this week, so Kitchen Guy will be SOL if he doesn’t tell Electrician Guy what has to be done before he leaves. There is a clawfoot bathtub sitting in my family room at the moment. It better not be there when I return home. And no that doesn’t mean just shift it to another room *snort*



  1. Couldn’t agree with you more on the automatic weapons. No one needs an automatic weapon. Some guy posted on my page that he needed it to protect himself from the govt. Told good luck taking on an unmanned drone with gun. There is a serious shortage of critical thinking skills in this country.

    Comment by Phyllis Lamken — January 8, 2013 @ 3:24 pm | Reply

  2. I spent several Christmases in Florida (lived there a while, lol) and it was fun to decorate palm trees and see inflatable tropic-themed lawn ornamentation etc. Sounds like you had some fun with that, and I can so see it. Sorry to hear about your knee, though. Wincing long-distance for you. Enjoy the lovely weather down there and enjoy the fish if you are into that sort of thing. All over FL, it’s pretty darn good. 🙂

    Comment by Sandi — January 8, 2013 @ 7:49 pm | Reply

  3. I am Australian. In 1996 at Port Author Tasmania a old colonial Jail a tourist attraction. There was a massacre 35 people killed 23 wounded. It was as far as I know the worst in our history. The killer used a semi automatic killing locals and tourists. Children too. Our government sat up and took notice and changed our laws all semi automatics banned. We had to hand them over in a massive buy back scheme. They tightened up the laws, you never could carry a handgun around on your person like you can in america but you could use it at gun clubs, you can still own hand guns and riffles but now you have to complete a course, I think over so many weeks to get a license. Then you have to have a secure lockable cabinet to put your weapons in. And I think if you have a license you have to go once a month to a club to practice, to keep the license. I’m not sure of all the ins and outs and how much more stringent the laws got my husband got rid of his riffles about 14 or 15 years ago when they first come in.
    There was a lot of winging and conspiracy theory’s at the time but they did it. Our Government Bought about massive changes in types of weapons, licensing and storage of guns in homes. It wasn’t wlecomed by everyone either but a hell of a lot of Austrlaians supported the move. To me it was the best thing an Austrlain Government has ever done. The Port Aurthor Masacre wasn’t done by a criminal but by a severely mentally disturbed person who never did anything like this before. Sure there were probably signs of his mental decline into psycotic madness but they were missed. As far as I can see these horrific massacres are done by people like this, if semi automatics are the only guns banned at least these mass killings will stop and without the semi automatic, just a normal gun it slows how many people they can kill in a short space of time and increases the chance of people escaping. I hope I haven’t offended, that’s just how our country reacted to a senseless tragedy.

    Comment by Leesa — January 10, 2013 @ 12:10 pm | Reply

    • Thank you for your comment and I think that is what ALL governments have to do. Ban the automatic weapons. That is the point Piers is trying to make and I applaude him for it.

      Comment by marshacanham — January 10, 2013 @ 3:46 pm | Reply

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